Went back to camp yesterday to collect my IC. Was suppose to collect it on Wednesday, due to my work, i could not collect it.
Went back straight to camp after my work. Feeling super tired cause i was involved in a 3 days 2 night camp. When the moment i was inform that Document Clerk is not around as he is out camp for course. I could not collect my IC. I was thinking...... WHAT>. i was supposed to collect on Wednesday yet i delay my collection dates.
One of the clerk kindly help in locating my IC but...... after hours of finding. Some how my countance fell. Hee hee feeling unhappy that why such things happened.
Thought they were suppose to prepare everything in waiting for us.
Praise Jesus.
In the end i left the place without my PINK IC, However i told them i do not want to come back into the camp. Would be asking my friend to collect on my behalf.
Therefore.... now i am consider without any IC cause my 11B have a sticker saying i am an NSMEN
Today i had my new CG meeting. Praise Jesus, there is a faithful one who came knowing that we are the only 2 of us in the CG.
But there are more than 2 of us. Reason being, Jesus is there as well. Therefore it is a 3 person CG. Heeheee.
Memories flash back to year 2000. That year itself, NYP CG was only 3 person. But God is always faithful to his word. Now, NYP have 2 CG and it is growing.
I shared this with derrick telling him. Let us trust God in seeing him bringing the people into TP C. Cause it is God who Gave the Increase.
The day where i blew it and AM still the Righteousness of God
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As the above statement mention, today went back to my camp for a stand down parade. Things went fine through out the morning until the point where we have to get the clearance form signed in order to ORD.
The mode was a happy mode until, my SM told us that there is a display for next wednesday and he needed man power. Non of the people responsed cause no one is avaliable. Then he just walk off saying he is Pissed off with us and if anyone of us are leaving we could just leave.
Therefore i waited for him after he cleared some of the meetings he had with his people. The moment i approach him after the waiting. The first words that he mention to me was f*** off.
That is the iginition of the hiden temper that was brewing. Immediately, my countance CHANGE. I mean really change, i forgot whom i am and what i did. All that was in my mind was, Get out of this place. Next i just walked away and change into my booking out attire.
The very next person that saw me was my Battery Commander. Thinking back i could not believe what i have done. Indeed like the statement, 'Hell have no fury like the anger of the MAN.' I told my BC that i am leaving and could not care much if my sm does not want to sign my clearance. Told him that i would be getting him to sign on the 22 sept which is my date of ORD.
I believe my face expression was... I could have killed a man. He just told me to relax and asked me what had happened. I told him someone do not want to sign the clearance form then it is meaningless begging. I believe the word begging is use correctly here. cause all i need was just a signature.
I told my BC i am in a rush and have no time to wait for him. WAh... I could not believe i said that cause this statement was qouted to me by my friend. I believe my BC spoked to sm about me.
The next scene happens that my sm knows about it and want to talk to me. The moment i walked into the office, i just bang the door (one of the reason was that the door is spolit that is why the banging was there) I walked past him and went straight to my stuff. Did not know that he was calling me. I was told sm was also unhappy with me. It takes both to clap right.
He called me into his office and question me what am i trying to show. At the same time find faults with me that i did not tucked in my shirt, talking to him without proper manners like when i explain my hands just flew any way it could get.
The next instruction he asked me to change BACK to my No. 4 attire i just turned my head and walked out. The next thing that happened he called me back. Asking me who am i showing the attitude to. The moment i walked out, i mumbered something which i have forgotten. Who would remember what they said when they are angry.
Following right along. More details are being exchange, asking me to whom am i trying to show my actions to. To my peers or to my man, i told him straight NON. That moment that i am talking to him i am still feeling agiated. Telling him what would he feel, if you are waiting for someone to sign some documents. Knowing that EVERYONE is waiting for A. A just commented that he is piss off and walked away. Would you approached A in asking his signature? Percentage of people doing it. I thinked it will only happened to the top 3% of D people.
Which i am not in D cat. Yes i mean normal D. I went ahead, and what i have gotten. An word which was common to a lot of people in army or the world around. Just not into my Vocab.
I told him that he know me well that i am not a person who scolds vagularites. The fact that i blew up was the build up in the waiting time and rushing back home.
I vomited out whatever i felt to the right level. sm was telling me that he can Charge me for my actions and deeds. I just kept quiet, but laughing inside my heart. Cause i know the fact in order for him to put me into Detention Barracks is not as easy as that. Firstly you would need an Officer to do that. Knowing that i would be in more wrongs if i spoke it out. Cause i knew i was in wrong the moment i flare up.
Then he told me that how many times in the past years that i have inform him that i have to leave early did he ever stop me in doing so. I told him all the times he had allowed me to leave early. But another question pop up in my mind. During the moments that he is giving briefing, he never asked if any of us are in a rush.
The full stop to the conversation was clearly when a person say I AM PISS OFF. Who would ask with the correct state of mind. He was also telling me that i am one of the Sgts that he doted on. erm... thinking back i hardly felt that maybe to a certain degree. But the funny part is that another of my friend also told me that sm told him the same thing.
The end of the conversation was that he allowed me to go off without changing back to my uniform. Though some of my friends felt that i am a HERO for today. Frankly speaking i do not. cause i know that the person that flared up is NOT me. People knowing me as a peace loving person, a super on Church goer. Who would have thought i would have done this kind of things.
When i left the camp, i just did not have the peace. Cause i know that this is the time that the devil is putting thoughts into my mind. Wah.... Christian lose temper, Church leader somemore. The accuser just kept putting thoughts into my mind.
i hate the feelings knowing that i had fail. Not to the extend that i know i cannot just that the feelings sucks that i have lost my cool. It was like a vocalno awaiting for eruption after many years.
At the same time this is the time, that i know that I AM STILL THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS.
The feelings stayed with me for about 4 to 5 hours. I mean for normaly people how long would it takes for them to relax down. It is not about am i angry with him or not. cause i believe he is not the person that i am suppose to be angry with. The devil just makes use of him to steal my Peace.
YES PEACE> For if the devil cannot steal your peace he cannot steal your joy
I really dislike losing my cool, i know that every person there is a limit to their patients. Perhaps this eruption was added on for a long unknown period of months or even years. Being the very fact and real person i am. I do not just lose my cool.
Non the less, the end of the day.
Before the day ends. Who am i is the question to ask.
Am i still the righteousness of God YES 100 percent plus Jesus red BLood Chop.
Lord Let me be SLOW to Anger But always be QUICK to Forgive.
Jesus i forgive him just as you have forgiven my sins when you died. He needs you as much as i do. Cause, i wonder do people plot to kill him or not.... heehee just joking.
Hallelujah,
Your Mercies are New every morning.
Morning, come to think about it. When the sun rises, it is always to the different parts of the world. Not just confine to a 24 hours cycle. it is happening every when and where.
Amen. I am still the Beloved one of Christ.
For if i could keep myself from getting angry. where is the place where God can work.
Day started with me waking up at 8am having breakfast with my dad. After which my dad went to collect our company van. which is also our family transportation to be. God is faithful, knowing that i am using it today for the retreat. In fact the day before i was in anger with the fact that the van cannot be collected on time. But God is faithful he delivered the Van on time.
There after, i drove the vehicle around to pick up my committee members, the feelings of driving a van is weird, as i have yet to get used to it. Was driving a E200 but have now change to Toyota Lite Ace =)
We started preparing the session of games to get the leaders warm up. After which we played a few rounds of captain ball.
The finales of the game was playing captain ball using soccer ball and a chicken.
Yes a chicken but it is dead. Therefore the outcome of the game have torn the chicken into a bad shape with the head on one side and the wings on the other. I believe the Leaders have play the games well.
Follow by dinner at Bayshore, the surroundings of the place is beautiful. The food that we cater is good. Get to eat the enjoyment of FOod. Lastly, shared with the leaders the objective of the retreat itself. it is to let them get to know each individual leaders. Secondly is to reward the leaders for serving the ministry. We manage to give every leader a pen with their names engraved on it. It is a very personnal gift that i wanted to present to the leaders. Cause God know us to the number of hairs, Therefore for the leadership we know each leaders name.
Amen God is Good.
Campus Leaders Retreat 2004 is definately a success.
Went over to my sister place last nite, Saw the small small boy.
Javen who weights 3.28 Kg when he was born. Indeed he was consider heavier than his elder brother. As the normal practise that i do, I place my hands on his fore head and command the blessings of God into his life.
It is not a rountine, but it is what i believe it to be TRUE. That we being born again as king as priest in the House of God. Authority which is not used will be considered as Abuse. Therefore, whenever i am able to, i just lay my hands and bless the 2 boys. For the lesser is being Bless by the Greater.
Like wise, God is the Greater and we being the lesser have been brought up to be Bless by him and be a BLessings to the WORLD.
I am who i am in Christ Jesus. Was save by Grace through Faith. So what is about myself. Was a self centered man before i knew Christ.
So what is about myself that is interesting leh.....
no idea about it, just know that God have given me a smile that is from heaven. A smile that can smile at any circumstances of my life.
Hallelujah
